The World as I Know it

Okay, so I just read Misty's blog (it's was sooo freakin' easy to guess it Mimi, all I did was put emo, a.k.a one of the only things you use a lot, in the bar thingy up above and it popped up; you should really think about getting rid of the history; Mimi please don't stop writing in it. I won't tell mama if you stop telling mine to her) and her's is extrememly honest. I mean extremely. And I love it but I find it a bit disturbing. I feel like I don't even know my own sister. Do you know how much of a horrible feeling that is? I've been gone for 4 months and everything has changed. Or has she always been like this and I just never noticed. Is she that good at hiding things or is it that I'm just not an observant person? IDK. It scares me to know that I had to read a blog in order to know that my sister has a boyfriend or that his ex-girlfriend is a "sl*t-faced bitch." And what the heck is #3?? I'm terrified of number three. I hope it's simply eating a lot of chocolate but I don't think it is.

Anyway, her blog is sooo freaking honest, I'm talking insanely, wonderfully honest (she doesn't care who she hurts! IDK how she can do that but I want to do it too!) so I've decided to be more open. In truth, this blog is supposed to be like a journal for me, a place to vent, but there are people reading this who I want to vent about you know? So I don't. But no more, or at least not so much. I hate feeling like crap and writing get's it out. So, here it goes.

I'm so tired of people calling me a prep. My God! Okay, so maybe I've changed, maybe my choice of clothing has changed a little or my choice of music. Whatever, but I am not a prep because a prep now, in this group is considered a bad thing. A prep is basically defined as a person who is a spoiled brat who doesn't care who they hurt because they only care for themselves. Let's see, is that me? No, duh. If that was me, I'd be wearing much nicer clothes, not buying christmas presents or trying to help my parents out a little. This venting process would have happened soooo long ago. So guess what guys, I'm not a prep, at least not in your terms.

Mmm, another thing. About me being "fiscally irresponsible." I'm sorry, but going to a college that is far outside your, and your parents, ability to pay seems a little "fiscally irresponsible to me." So what, I want an iPod; but I'm buying it, not my mom and dad, me! So get over it! I'm going through college without my parents helping me. I got a summer job (a sucky one) in order to do that. My parents have 2 other kids here who they have to support so I try not to be much of a pest on them. They don't send me however amount of money a month. I survive by myself. And idc if you have to buy your own food. You should have accounted for that when you decided to go there. It's not exactly my fault, ya know? So don't go getting all defensive about how I want an iPod or how I got a new phone. I'm buying all of these things w/o help so get off my back.

Yeah and I'm also tired of people screaming at me saying "how do you ever meet people?" "You say your more outgoing but you don't do anything." Well guess what? This is me. This has been me since you have met me. It's time you got used to it and it's time you got over it. This is the way I am. I will go and meet people on my own terms. Not everyone else's. Maybe I'm just uncomfortable around the sort of people that you all want me to hang around with, ya know? Your people may not be my people. But if they are, I'll find out when I feel comfortable finding out. If you push me, I'm not gonna like it and am probably gonna not like you afterward.

Okay, I think I'm done for right now. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone especially one person b/c the majority (if not all of it) is directed to them, but it had to come out. I'm tired of holding everything in. This is supposed to be a blog, one that I can say anything on. And so I have. Anyway, I'll ttyl. Bye!!
Loves you guys!!