Friday, September 5, 2008
So I've decided to take a break from cleaning my room. Shonda's side is already spotless and beautiful looking--mine has a little bit more to go.
Last night we (meaning Kdee, Kelly, Shannan, Ryan, Andy, Nick, Brandon and I) went to the park across from New Cov and had some worship and prayer. There was a drunk person there and we decided to pray for him. It was weird, being around a drunk person again. I mean, Ryan had his problems and I was there for some of it, but this guy, Paul, brought back some memories for me. My dad drank for a long time. As long as I can remember really. And he always used to come home smelling like beer. I don't think he was as bad as Paul was, but it may be that I just don't want to remember that stuff. When we lived in Dexter (I always say that I lived in Watertown because it's bigger and more people know it), we lived over a bar, in an apartment. My daddy was a construction worker, sort of. Our family business was blowing stuff up--trenches, wells, even an old two story smoke tower once--and when we had the money, we where we could find him if he wasn't working at the moment. He was always downstairs. It got so normal, that my sister had a birthday party in the actual bar. Weird, I know, but it wasn't weird then. I don't know why daddy drank. I never really asked. I just accepted it. I mean, I was five or six when we moved to Dexter, and even when we still lived in Belmont, we lived near a bar so it wasn't strange to be in a bar or see people drinking. My mama even drank some, though she knew her stomach couldn't handle it. I remember one time, it was right after my mama got hurt, the ambulence came and took her to the hospital. My daddy stayed at the bar while Mimi and I was upstairs, in the living room. We called the bar, or at least we thought it was the bar, to talk to daddy. It turned out to be 911 from when my mama called. Mimi hung up, she was like 7 or something, so she was still really young, and they called back. I had to go downstairs to the bar to get daddy and then after he talked to the 911 operator or something, he called the bar so we could just press re-dial and went back down. I remember having to go get him some nights, walk behind him up the stairs to make sure that he didn't fall. I was like 8 or 9. He never hit us or anything. I think he was a happy-ish drunk, so it's not like it was terrible. I'm just saying that talking to Paul brought some stuff back.
It seems weird to think that people didn't have the same experiences as I had. Ryan had completely different than mine, and although I don't know much about Shannan's, her's is different too. When Brian was talking about the Goble's drinking last night, it was like he had no idea what he was talking about. And he doesn't. He's never been drunk; I seriously doubt that he has been around anyone who was drunk.
Later though, when we moved back home, to where I live now, Daddy stopped drinking. We're not close to a bar though, so that could be why. Or maybe it's just that Mama is actually hurt so he's trying to help. Kat is going to have a different sort of childhood than mine, though she's probably going to have to grow up fast like me. Mimi hasn't had to grow up that fast. I've always looked after her for the most part. For the longest time, she was the baby of the family. When Mama was hurting, I tried to help her as much as I could (though I did get tired of it and I think I'm sort of resentful now, though I'm working on it) and I tried to keep Misty from hearing mama and daddy argue about money or about him drinking or something. Now, Kat's like an only child. Soon, Mimi will leave and she'll have to fend for herself, though I know that both I and Mimi will help her in every way we can. I don't know. It's not that my parents are bad parents, cause they're not. They are simply getting older and they have issues of their own and it's just getting harder for them.
Anyway, I should get back to cleaning. Bye!!
