The World as I Know it

There are some things,
some horrible days,
where thoughts flood my brain.
Debris of emotions hit me with the force of the tide.

Why did you eat that?
What were you thinking?
You weren't.
You never do.
They think this about you.
They're right; you are. You always have been.
How could he love you?
You are worse than them.
In this group, you're the awful one.
In this body, you are the sick one. (Matthew 18:9)
In this life, you are the liar, the immoral one.
Do you know what happens? (Rev. 21:8)
It all hits me.
All at
once.
Then there are the people around me.
There are the he's around me.
he's
nice
atheist
trouble
not for you
into you?
absolutely NOT
christian
nope. look away.
bad news for you
in a "relationship"
nice to you, not to your friends
in love
not with you
Then there's Him.
He's
a friend
someone who's there
doesn't think those things
oh so forgiving
caring
loving
wonderful
in love
with you
Oh how i wish i could find a holding place in Him.
A holding place to keep me from
the awfulness which comes in torrents down
on my head.