The World as I Know it

I'm feeling very lonely.  Not in the sense that people aren't around me cuz for the most part, I have people around me at least a little.  I'm talking about being lonely because there's really no one there who I can talk to on a deep personal level, if that makes sense.  I don't feel close to people here as I used to.  And Beth's off doing her own thing, living her own life, which is fine, but it leaves me with almost noone.  Nic is great, and has become one of my best friends, but he has other roles too and so can't really take the role of confidant on.  I'm not gonna lie.  This really upsets me.  I know that I have God and Jesus and the Ghosty-poo but...somehow it's not the same.  I know it's supposed to be, but its not.  Not at all.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I'm not blaming anyone for anything, this is just how the cards fell.  It just makes me sad.  I'm kind of hoping that sharing an apartment will bring me closer to some people, whoever those people will be.  I'm also kind of scared that that same situation will push me farther from people.  I don't want that to happen.  As I'm writing these things, I keep questioning if this is the correct forum to voice these concerns.  I always do that though.  What is too personal to write here?  What belongs in my journal?  Does writing it in a private journal automatically make it too personal?  It's a weird conundrum.

I'm worried about some people and the choices they are making.  They say that they are going to do one thing, are going to go in another direction, but I see them making the same choices, going down the same path.  It's hard to watch, especially since I know the outcome of these paths.  I've tried telling them but it doesn't help.  People are going to do what they want.  I just hope that this time, they aren't hurt as bad as the last couple times.  I wish they realized that its time to take a step back.

I'm going to talk directly to the Christians who read this blog but if you aren't Christian, stick around!  This might be interesting for you.

I would like you think about God and your beliefs, about Jesus and the Cross.  If you need to, get out a piece of paper and write them down.  Got'em?  Good.  Now, let's take a look.  Words like 'healing,' 'transformation,' 'relationship,' are probably near the top of the list as is 'all-loving,' and what not.  These are words we use everday when we talk about God.  Words we are so used to hearing that we have naturally picked them up.  But take a step outside of yourself.  What do these things sound like to the average person?  What did these things sound like to you, before you were saved (another one of those words)? 

The bible calls us to 'not be of this world.'  And for the most part, even though we are instructed not me to be, we are.  However, in some aspects we're not and that's in our language.  I'm not talking about cursing or anything like that, though I should hope that someone does not use those words, I'm talking about the dialect we use as Christians.  It has been said that to truly be fluent in a language, we need to know what their phrases and metaphors mean and we have become fluent in Christian.  I'm not saying that it is a bad thing because it's not.  But my pastor on Sunday was talking about how we need to relate to different people.  How his mother didn't graduate from high school while his father was a college English professor and so he talked to them in different styles in order for each to fully grasp and appreciate what he was trying to tell them.  We need to do this with other people as well.  Not many people are going to know what you're talking about when you say "Let me tell you my testimony" even though 'testimony' is pretty common in our particular vernacular.  Instead, how about "let me tell you about my life." 

Just thought I'd share some of my views.

 I'm reading Daniel at the moment, for the first time actually.  It amazes me what I have learned biblically if not spiritually in some way.  It just goes to show you that you should actually read ALL the bible and not just the parts which seem interesting right now.  You never know what'll be interesting later.  Anyway, I'm in Ch.4, where Nebuchadnezzar has been taken down a few notches by God because of his pride.  In the chapter, he is taking a walk through a part of his kingdom and attribute the beauty and the glory of his kingdom to himself and not to God and so God takes him away from the splendor which he is accustomed to and brings him so low he is eating grass.  It brings a new perspective on our lives and the times when we just don't feel like we should.  What if God is bringing you to this new place because you need to be there, need to feel what it's like to be the loneliest, dirtiest person on the earth to be taught a lesson.  You may be wondering if Nebuchadnezzar learns his lesson and I'm glad to say that he does; he repents and praises God and so He puts him back into his place of delicious wonderfulness.