The World as I Know it

It's been a while yet again. Sorry about that to the absolutly no people who are reading this. And that's okay. Why would I want thousands of strangers knowing what I'm doing and what my life is; it's not like I'm Paris Hilton.

I'm at college right now. My second day. There's no classes yet; it's basically orientation all over again. I don't know anyone, too introverted to go up to someone and say: why are you wearing a kilt? or why do you have a blow-up doll in the form of a half-naked french maid? Both questions of which I am dying to ask. I don't really know how I'm liking it to tell you the truth. I mean, it's not terrible or anything, but like the title of this post asks: is it for me? I hope so. I hope I don't freak out and drop out. That would be absolutly horrible. I don't want to be like that. I really don't.

Nothing has really happened over the past two days that are worth mentioning. It's been kind of boring but scary at the same time. Most of the time I'm saying "hi, I'm Heather. What? Oh, I'm from Ceres which is near Olean which is south of Buffalo." Then they (the person I'm talking to) responds in kind. And I forget their names seconds after that. Oh well. What am I supposed to do; take post-it-notes with me and write down names with descriptions? Lynsey: girl with red hair and braids who I talked to in Cooper. How great. No, thanks not really my sort of thing.

I was down at the lake about a half hour ago. I was feeling inspired and corny. Let me type what I wrote:

As I write this, my feet are dangling in Lake Ontario, feeling, and melting in, teh ebb and flow of the waves. It is my second day here at SUNY Oswego. I don't know anyone and, being that I'm an introverted person, haven't met that many people; that's the hardest part, thus far, of college. But, as I look out into the horizon that is almost seamless with the blue water and sky becoming one, I feel that my future is as bright as the sun that is warming me now.

Told you it was corny. Anyway, I'm going to go. Bye! :-)

Yet again, I haven't been writing at all. Sorry. Right now, I'm at Tyler's house (one of Beth's friends) and I feel more than a little uncomfortable. Beth is in Cami's room (who is Tyler's sister) and is listening to music. Tyler and Alex are at Fiona's house who, at this moment, is sitting beside me checking e-mail.

I hate going over to people's houses, absolutely hate it. I don't know what to do half the time and it's even worse considering it's someone's house who I've met only once! Talk about awkward. Beth and Cami keep talking about all of these bands that I'm not particularly fond of anymore. I looked at the songs Beth's downloaded recently and it's all these hard-core rock bands like Avenged Sevenfold and Atreyu. I'm not into those bands, at all. I mean, some of there songs are good, but I'm not the biggest fan in the world. Cami also keeps talking about Warped Tour, which she went to recently (like yesterday and the day before) at Darien Lake. Beth wants to go. I might have wanted to go like 2 years ago, but not really anymore. It's so weird; it's like I'm not even a part of this anymore.

My family life isn't exactly the best either. My sister is being an ass and keeps telling me to move out and what not and I'm pretty sure my mother wants me to do the same. We've had some big fights over absolutely nothing. I cried so bad the last time; I wanted to move out. I was thinking that I only had a month to go and I had enough money to get an apartment if they would give me back the $400 they had borrowed. Misty's the same way though, like I said. It's a piece a crap, I'm telling you. It's like that every other day at my house.

So much of my life is so f-ed up right now. I absolutely hate it and I can't really do a thing about it. I don't know anymore. I feel left out at work (because Ashley, Brianna, and Bill are such good friends), I feel left out at home (because Misty, Mama, and now Daddy sometimes seem to really have something going on, like their closer or something now that I'm not around all that much and that I'm going to leave), and now I feel left out with my friends surrounding me because they have other friends that they can hang out with-and do hang out with- and I don't have anyone else. God it sucks. It absolutely sucks.

That's it; I need to listen to some music that will make me happy; though I'm sure Beth won't like the kind of music I listen to now. That's okay, I don't like hers either.

P.S. I got a 4 on both of my AP tests! Yaaay Me!

So, I know it's been a while but I will try my best to tell about what has happened since my last post. I finished high school and graduated. It was okay but pretty boring. Except that I actually read my speech to a couple hundred people. That was sort of scary.

Since then, I am working at the school. I clean the entire thing and it is more than a little sucky. There's always gum to clean off desks, windows to wash, floors to sweep and other crappy things. I work from 7-3:30; I have to wake up at six in the morning. How wonderful! That's all that's been going on in my life and I don't particularly want to write anymore so... buh-bye!

Is it strange that I want to be black-listed, like potential terrorists are? I have this strange urge to see how far I can go with the government. For example, would it only take one time of googling Al-Qaeda to have the FBI banging down my front door, or would it take repeated offenses in order to get that kind of recognition. It is not like I am favorable to Islamic extremists, or anything. I'm not; I just have a perverse desire to find out how long it would take. I did google Al-Qaeda a couple of minutes ago. So, if you hear of a young blogger who was taken to Guantanamo, it's me.

Beth and I always joke around, saying that Mr. CIA-man is listening into our conversations and, although I know that it is only joking, I always wonder if someone is listening. That's probably incredibly egotistical but come on. Everyone has to be wondering that at some point when they're saying something particularly bad on the phone. It's human nature to be paranoid.

Anyway, back to the black-listing urge. It's strange, I know. I think it can be compared to the people who rode the busses during freedom summer though. They wanted to know just how hard they could push too. It may turn out about the same as well (if I do get sent to Gitmo--which admitedly is unlikely). They were beaten and/or killed, tortured in effect; that sounds a lot like what is happening in the base in Cuba, doesn't it?

Onto a new subject. So, all that has been on the BBC world news is the G8 summit (that and China, but who cares about China?). It is amazing how the summit, which originally was meant to be like a post-Kyoto treaty or something that was supposed to help stop global warming, has become a stage for a new cold war. I guess we want to have anti-missile shields or something like that in Europe and Russia is mad about that. Can anyone say egotistical? Russia hasn't been very important since the fall of the USSR in the early 90s. Yes, Russia, you are so important that, although we are fighting TWO unpopular wars in the Middle East (if we don't count that whole war on terrorism thing), we are going to divert money from those wars to start yet another one. I'm sure.

Listen to me closely Russia. We have bigger fish to fry. Remember Iran? South Korea (or north, which ever one is communist)? There are people in the world who would kill themselves to get rid of a few Americans. I'm afraid that the only way you would hurt Americans would be if you drank one too many shots of Vodka and decided to poison one of our secret agents this time.

I think Russia is getting tired of being the country "that was." You know what I mean? They were so important a decade and a half ago. More than half a century was devoted to threats of wiping them off the face of the earth, squrmishes that didn't really do anything but kill people, and ignoring them like they were an annoying little brother. Now, all of a sudden, there's some other country who is full-filling those needs. Poor Russians; they must feel left out now. Get over it.

New Subject! This time it is the SUPER OBAMA! I have heard (mostly read) so much about Obama that it seems like he's everywhere. If I light a donkey sky light, will he come running and tell me the *gasp* truth? Why is this such a big deal for the media. Someone who tells the truth and doesn't switch views depending on the audience he's speaking to? Oh my gosh! It's a miracle, someone call the pope! They (Time Magazine & Newsweek) have stated that that might be a bad political plan. Well duh! But seriously, who's better for the Oval Office than a person who tells the truth? I think Obama's awesome and we need more politicians like him. Granted, he most likely will not win the primary elections or, if he does, the actual presidential election because 1) he's (half) black. There's still tons of racism in America, whether we want to admit it or not. 2) it's unlikely that he will get the support of the oil and car and what-not industries who only want money and not what is good for the people who buy their products. and 3) he's different. This may be a generalization, but older people feel comfortable voting for people who are like them and he's not. (And let's face it, there are a lot of old people in this country. I'm still going to vote for him if he gets as far as the presidential elections (I'm not a card-carrying member of the democratic party and therefore cannot cast a vote in the primary elections) because he's freakin' awesome, but, like I said, he probably won't win. DON'T QUOTE ME! NOTHING'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Anyway, there's my thoughts for a while. A little more political than normal but hey. I'm in that sort of mood... or maybe it's because I'm watching a lot of Anderson Cooper 360 (I think he's kind of cute).

Yeah, it's been a while, but I'll try my best to catch y'all up (of course no one's probably reading this so I'm talking to myself and may be crazy but, oh well! That's life).

So, since we last spoke, my mother tried to force me into the military. Isn't that ironic considering the comic that is in my last post? So, after being bullied and talked to for an two in a half hours by my mother and army reserves recruiter respectively, I finally consented to taking the ASVAB. That test is almost as bad as the freaking SATs. I got my results and the nice Sargent Soles came back to my house with his boss, Sargent Long, to talk to me about joining because, apparently, I got a really good score--an 88. They said I could go into the reserves with the 3x5 program which is where it's three years active reserves and 5 years inactive and I could do a split-training which would be super good because my college is just about paid for. Unfortunately, Sargent Soles called me and said that he and Long had been wrong and I can't do the split-training with the 3x5. So even though I was thinking about it before (with the split-training 3x5), it's basically a no-thank-you type of deal now.

My mother's freaking out about it because I don't want to join. She says it's a really good deal but she's forgetting that it's my life and not hers. She's just gonna have to live with it that I, at least, am not going into the military. Mimi on the other hand, is thinking about it considerably.

I'm kind of freaking out right now. Not because of the whole forcing me into the army thing, but about the crap they're throwing at us in school. APUSH is relatively east, but I now have a thesis to write and a minimum wage project to do. Oh yeah, and I have to finish the community service project. How freaking annoying!

My thesis is probably the worse. Because I'm in AP English, it has to literary in nature. I'm doing Holden Caulfield's morality. It seemed interesting at the time and still sort of is but I just don't want to do it, and I have to. Ten pages double-spaced with at least 5 sources. I now that it's not that bad, but it still sucks.

I'm gonna go now. Oh! If any one is reading this, then here is an awesome Brit singer guy: Patrick Wolf. I have "The Magic Position" and it's really cool. It's a cross between the 60s and 80s music. So there, there's my musical advice for the day.

Duh, of course they would. It's a government with a Rebulican President who, for the last 7 years, has ruined our international reputation and made a fool out of himself!